Collins is a sophomore English major and can be contacted at email@example.com
If you’re sporting daisy dukes and cowboy boots with snow on the ground, a dress made entirely out of gold anchors or if you’re already a little too dazed and confused for 11 a.m. on a Saturday, you’re probably headed out to a fraternity or sorority social, crush or date party. Whatever they’re calling it, a lot of time thought and money has been devoted to keeping you (and your date) riding Uncle Buck’s mechanical bull, dancing in cages (while drinking 25 cent beer) or rushing to be the first released from your handcuff date (he was not the FIJI you thought he would be). Whatever or where ever, here’s how to do it:
Find a “fratfit.”
Achieved through excessive planning or thrown together at the last minute, your outfit has to match the theme, be appropriately funny, slutty and/or denim-filled. The more outrageous your outfit is, the more excited you’ll be about the theme and the happier you’ll be to be there. Someone has to wear those jorts from the Salvation Army you will never wear again.
Find a date.
You can’t do these things solo (although I’m sure the red cups will make an appearance).
It all depends on that crucial relationship status. Is it complicated? Are you in a domestic partnership? If you’re taken, then you know what to do. Mystery date? Don’t be too surprised if your girlfriend or boyfriend shows up in that matching tie and crazy hat combo.
If you’re single then let the games begin. While your “Thirsty Thursday” hookup might not be the ideal candidate, who am I to judge? Had your eye on that new Peggy’s bartender? How about the ADPi-A-Palooza rep who visited your house last weekend? Whoever it is, take a chance. If it ends badly, it’s only four hours of the weekend, and either way, you’ll be surrounded by people you like and pay a lot of money to be there with. If you don’t have anyone in mind then grab the best friend (boy, girl, GDI, it doesn’t matter).
Stop, it’s pre-game time.
Okay, you knew this was coming. What you do before the party can set the tone for the whole event. I don’t care if you’re drinking, acting as a sober brother or sister or have “social chair” stamped on your forehead. Maybe keep it to two tequila shots as opposed to 10, grab a quick margarita at El Aguila or just grab some dinner with the non-drinkers.
Make it on the bus.
We’ve all seen the couple (or been the couple) that didn’t even make it on the bus or through the door. Just get there. We’ve all been to Uncle Buck’s, The Boom Boom Room and Sleepy Hollow more times than we probably remember and, while these places can get boring, social chairs pick them because they are easy, cheap and tend to not kick out too many members who have managed to sneak a water bottle or two into the event. Downtown’s Static is home to one of the year’s best Relays parties (cheers, Theta Chi), while the Sigma Chi house managed to represent five countries (and five sororities) at their 2009 Around the World party.
Gonna dance the night away.
It’s bad enough with a Dublin DJ, but when you need to start raging, it’s hard to do without the right soundtrack. If executed well, live music, a DJ or even a good iPod mix can work. It has to be upbeat and trendy but not overplayed. I don’t want to throw my hands up (this isn’t my song, I promise) or dance the cotton-eyed Joe, but I do want to let you know that “I think we’re alone now, there doesn’t seem to be anyone around…”