STORY BY JOE HERBA AND VICTORIA TRAMP

 In today’s day and age, it seems that every little thing we do could make or break our image.

With men, one thing that is not really talked about but is secretly understood is manscaping. Manscaping is an all-encompassing term covering literally any hair on a man’s body, but I will focus on the head, chest, and back.

Having witnessed every form of manscaping from a Superman symbol shaved into a chest to Mickey Mouse ears shaved into a lower region (maybe I haven’t witnessed that one, but I have heard about it), one could say that I have a pretty thorough understanding of the true meaning of the term manscaping.

As men, we (probably) want to look at least a little presentable, so manscaping is something that men have known about since they start shaving their face.

Why do we shave our face in the first place? First, there is just a negative connotation about a 14-year-old boy with a patchy beard.

Second, and most importantly, no one likes that very awkward stage of incoming-beard-yet-still-not-beard beard.

And don’t even get me started on mustaches, because if you grow hair like my roommate, growing a mustache takes you two weeks and makes you look crazy. Then you’re in this awkward stage of weird thin hair on your lip versus a full Mr. Monopoly.

The third reason some shave their face is because it makes us feel like the most Chuck Bass-iest of Basses!

I was having dinner with a friend yesterday and he had just shaved his face and said that he felt “so handsome” and could not take his hand off his face. You know how girls like to rub their legs after they shave them because they are so smooth? Guys do it too, ladies!

Now on to the hard part: the chest and back. The decision to shave the chest and/or back is something that differs between every single man. It is the ones that do it that you have to be careful of, because I promise you those people have opinions.

Okay, I am being a bit overdramatic, but there are two types of people that shave their chest/back.

The first are the guys that literally HAVE to. If they do not, they could go out in the winter without a shirt and you would compliment them on their sweater.

The second is the guy that knows he shaves and makes sure everyone else does too by NEVER WEARING A SHIRT. Seriously dude, it is snowing…why?

But the most important thing to take away is that if a man decides to manscape, it doesn’t matter what I think, or what the rest of the world thinks for that matter, because in the end, it’s for you and you have gotta love your decision!

Unless you shave a sports team logo in the back of your head. Then your decision is for you AND the rest of the world.

Manscaping, as defined by our most reliable source, Urban Dictionary, is how a man is groomed, and can take place through shaving and waxing an abundance of body hair.

I’m a strong believer that personality comes first. My attraction towards a guy can fluctuate depending on how good of a person he is. However, even though personality comes first, everyone has preferences about physical features in the opposite sex.

Shaving and/or trimming is necessary. The neck beard — also referred to as a neard, according to Urban Dictionary — is a specific section of hair underneath the neckline that is unflattering. A neard comes off as lazy, or dirty.

Overly long sideburns must be shaved. Elvis was the only person in the entire world that could pull off the bushy, long sideburns, and that was in the 1950’s, when shaking your hips was too graphic for television.

Mustaches without beards will always be creepy. Always.

Chest hair in any variety is manageable. If it’s so thick someone may not know you have skin on your torso, then there may be a problem. But for most cases, chest hair can be attractive. You do you, men.

Luscious back hair is not something that I see on a daily, weekly, or even monthly basis, but there will always be that man that comes to the pool with an extremely hairy back.

I don’t want to say he needs to wax his hair because, frankly, waxing hurts. He‘s also unlikely to be able to shave his back by himself. This leaves a wife/child/ sister to shave his back for him, and I would feel like a monster for endorsing such activities.

Perhaps hairy backs just need trimmed up. Men can talk to their barbers and/or other hair professionals about the options for back trimming.

Shoutout to the hairy men: as stated earlier, everyone has preferences about physical features in the opposite sex. These manscaping tips are strictly my own. There are women who love hairy men. And by hairy men, I mean these women LOVE beards, mustaches, sideburns, chest hair, back hair, leg hair, and maybe even neards. If you look like a shrunken down version of Big Foot, you’re the ideal man for these females. Keep doin’ you.