If it exists, it should be talked about.
Those words have been a consistent theme in my 20 years of living — I’ve never understood why certain topics and people are better left undiscussed.
Periods, sex, mental health, politics, salary disparities… Why are these all topics we have to be careful about? I’ve never understood when or where it’s “okay” to talk about these parts of society.. I’ve been reprimanded more times than I can count by those around me for just talking about things that exist.
I shouldn’t talk about periods in front of men because it makes them uncomfortable. I shouldn’t talk about politics because others have a different opinion than me. I shouldn’t talk about salary disparities because it’s “unfair” to my managers.
Each elephant in the room I have encountered has made less and less sense to me as I’ve gotten older.
Why is it wrong to ask about it? Why should I have to protect someone else’s feelings if they’re hurting another’s? It seems as if going against the status quo is, itself, taboo.
If it exists, it should be talked about. If someone is disrespecting another, it should also be talked about.
Why are we so obsessed with protecting another’s pride if they themselves are making someone else uncomfortable? Why should I hesitate before asking someone not to say a slur, just for the sake of keeping the peace? Why is the status quo driven to protect bigots?
In the past decade, I have been called confrontational and sensitive more times than I can count. Each time, my protest against the hateful rhetoric is never seen as big – just small and easy to brush aside. My objections reduce me to a man-hating chick, a controversial person: a bitch.
And you know what my crimes were, to provoke such name-calling? Telling someone not to say a slur. Telling someone they’re being disrespectful. Asking to be respected, to be seen.
I have been called bitch so many times, it almost feels branding. It seems I bleed, excrete and emanate bitchiness like I breathe. It’s been repeated so many times in relation to my name that it’s begun to feel like a medal.
Am I a bitch for asking people not to say a slur? Am I a bitch for demanding respect from those who see me as less than? Am I a bitch for not wanting to be around people who have no respect for my gender, my queer-ness, my brain?
Is a woman only worth keeping around if she stays subservient to the status quo that keeps her down?
If that is my title for talking about the taboo and going against the status quo, then it’s my reward. If society wants to paint me as a controversial, confrontational and sensitive bitch, then so be it.
At least I’m not an asshole. Those exist, and they definitely should be talked about.
