Bosco is a senior English and secondary education double major and can be contacted at email@example.com
Co-rec basketball is the mainstream intramurals sport this season, and all participants have been living up to its reputation as being one of the most watched and competitive leagues the program has to offer. In relation to this element of the game, officials are forced to work for every penny of pay. This is not a significant difference to any other intramurals sport, but basketball especially calls for constant movement, total concentration and a persistent acknowledgement to every rule of the game from each referee.
One of the primary essentials to officiating basketball is controlling the play. For some games, officials must be especially responsive to issuing a technical foul. In light of the pride we as the intramurals staff take in throwing our hands in a ‘T’ formation with deliberate vigor and condemnation, I would like to politely address the ways in which you can find yourself on the receiving end of the technical foul – a penalty that will result in a spot on the sideline.
Hit the backboard Intentionally.
Some actions that are prohibited in the intramurals basketball leagues are unknown to participants. Some of these include slapping the backboard for the mere reason of showing everyone how high you can jump, subbing on the fly because “it’s just intramurals, and we should be playing like hockey anyways” and using dunking as practice for your personal hang-time record.
Bring rowdy, unruly and boisterous fans.
Intramurals loves a fan section and consequently loathes the idea of telling them to go home. Encouraging signs, halftime snacks and a coach or two are acceptable. However, make sure your groupies know that any illegal disruption to the play, any intoxicated states of being or any inappropriate remarks towards the game will cause a direct, negative effect on the team – such as a technical foul.
Talk back to the officials.
We know uncontrollable obscenities are bound to happen when you miss that bunny shot, but please do not address it to the referee or shout it so loud that Drake Security starts to worry. Whatever call is made is the final call, and if a heated debate ensues between you and the official because of it, you may find yourself with a technical. We are always looking for more staff members, so if you believe you can do a better job, please contact Intramurals Coordinator Matt Gasser, and we would love to have you. Also, whispering cuss words under your breath while nonchalantly walking past an official may also have similar penalizing affects.
Recreate a scene from “Fight Club.”
One of the easiest and quickest ways to receive a technical foul is to throw a punch. Physical aggression is not condoned in any intramurals sport and will have you thrown out of the game immediately. Chances are that the heat of the game had you excited, and a new T-shirt was on the line. We understand and appreciate the high levels of intense competition, but please contain yourself, as filling out an incident report is more shameful than you may think.
All these deeds will leave you with a technical foul, a spot on the bench and a possible meeting with Gasser if another similar action follows. The game is just as fun without excessive penalties, but if you’re looking to remove yourself from the game, these tips will get you there.
In other areas of intramurals, the outdoor sports are officially completed, and the ultimate champions have been named. SigEp took home the men’s competitive flag football victory, Flutie Pebbles did the same in the recreational league and Mice Catchers was the women’s champion. In outdoor soccer, SigEp took home another competitive championship, Fake Madrid came out on top in the men’s recreational league and Delta Gamma proved victorious in the women’s rankings.
My calculations were only partly accurate for the first season, but I can only hope that any of my moderately thought out predictions pushed your teams to prove me wrong.
Until next time, please play by the rules.