About three days a week, I can be found at Cowles Library as 11 p.m. turns to midnight. A couple of months ago, that’s where I was, despairing over some menial assignment. I remember questioning the point of doing the assignment. That night — and many since then — everything felt pointless.
Unfortunately, I don’t have an answer for how to find meaning in life or achieve eternal happiness, but I’m learning to challenge the mindset that tells me that assignments are busywork or that it’s too cold outside or that life is hard. Instead, I’m telling myself that it’s a blessing to be able to pursue education and to have a college to walk around and that challenge brings opportunity.
Sometimes, it’s better to find value in what we have than anguish about the answers that we don’t.
Just about everyone has heard the importance of gratitude preached as though it’s a cure-all to the epidemic of depression, loneliness and stress that plagues college students, especially Gen Z. Most have probably nodded along mindlessly, writing it off as a feel-good idea that’s easier said than practiced. I know that I have.
Every morning and night, I sit down and write a list of five to 10 things that I’m grateful for. Those lists tend to have a lot of repeats — water, blankets, indoor plumbing. Sometimes, I write those lists feeling genuinely grateful. I might gain a sense of hope or a feeling of clarity. But most of the time, I feel little difference, like it’s just a mechanical action. At this point, maybe it is, but I don’t want that to stop me from appreciating the blessings that I have in my life.
Even when it feels empty, gratitude is not just about feeling thankful; it’s about practicing it, even when the feelings don’t follow immediately.
There’s a difference between writing a list and truly practicing gratitude. That’s something I’m still learning to appreciate. As the leaves have turned from green to brilliant reds, oranges and yellows, as warmth has slowly but surely disappeared from the air and as school has become increasingly monotonous, I’ve sometimes struggled to maintain a sense of purpose. In moments like those, I can’t always see the bigger picture. Sometimes I just have to trust that it’s there.
With Thanksgiving right around the corner, I’ve been reflecting on what’s made my life possible. Because at the end of the day, even when the sun sets at the ridiculous hour of 5 p.m., I know that I’m so lucky to have the opportunities that I do. I’m so lucky to have food and clean water, clothes and a place to sleep at night. I’m so lucky that I had so many resources growing up, from strong public schools to plentiful extracurricular activities to parents that have supported me for years. I’m so lucky.
Gratitude doesn’t just live in moments of abundance or lists in a journal or in inspirational talks. It lives in the ordinary. It’s in the people I know, the experiences I’ve had and the comforts that I sometimes take for granted. It’s in the people who’ve helped me along the way and continue to support me.
The truth is, no matter how difficult life may seem or how bleak my outlook may be, I’m incredibly blessed. I have resources, a community and support. I don’t want to waste what I’ve been given, even when it feels like things are getting hard.
So despite my deep dislike of cold weather, I’m truly thankful for this holiday season. I’m thankful to be at a wonderful university, the opportunities that come with it and the knowledge that I have a home to return to.
This Thanksgiving, I’m remembering that true gratitude is not just a feeling; it’s a practice and a mindset. It’s not about listing my blessings — it’s about showing up for them, every single day.
