Religion and politics: the two things you’re never supposed to talk about at the dinner table. These topics are regarded as extremely personal and contentious, so they easily give rise to disagreement. We’re talking about fundamental views of human nature, morality and liberty. It already sounds too heavy for light dinner conversation at Hubbell Dining Hall.
It is usually easier to agree with a person on superficial terms: We hate that commercial. We love that T.V. show. We think the book was way better than the movie. The more complex things in life require more in-depth conversations and sometimes reveal clashing perspectives.
Avoiding conflict is fairly typical human nature. I’m not about to sit behind someone wearing a Beatles T-shirt and start bashing on the Fab Four. Most of us are inclined to avoid arguments whenever possible.
If I know Anna supports Political Party A while I support Political Party B, I might avoid talking about politics with Anna in anticipation of a disagreement. Elections, however, are pervasive. Politics is suddenly everywhere we look.
In reality, politics is a process that functions at many levels every day. But, to the average American, it is most noticeable during elections. Thus, circumventing political conversations gets trickier. I may not know Bob’s political views because I’ve never asked. But that may change come election time, when Bob starts liking candidates, parties and propositions on Facebook.
We’re all about the labels in this country, and I’m not talking about designer jeans. We love defining others in terms of dichotomies: man/woman, young/old, white/black and, of course, Democrat/Republican. I find this practice problematic because political views exist on a spectrum.
My perception of Political Party A and my reasons for supporting it may be completely different and even contradictory to Claire’s reasons for supporting the same party. So, labeling Claire a supporter of Political Party A doesn’t mean we share an identical ideology. It actually doesn’t tell me much at all about what she believes.
Our liberal arts education begs us to ask “why” and explore the nuances of ideas and perspectives. Specifically at Drake University, we value “meaningful personal lives” and “responsible global citizenship” through “collaborative learning.”
I believe we can and should welcome, encourage, and facilitate the tough conversations. Thus, I wanted to share five suggestions for having meaningful and productive dialogue about politics with your friends:
Take ownership of your opinions.
I am much more comfortable speaking about my convictions than something I don’t believe in. Formulating your own opinions through research, reflection and conversation makes talking about politics easier. It’s good to be passionate about the things you believe, but don’t let that deter you from keeping an open mind.
Separate the personal from the political.
Having friends who disagree with you is one of the best things you can do for yourself. I’m not recommending every Democrat become friends with a token Republican just for the sake of political diversity. I am merely pointing out that you don’t have to agree with everything your best friend believes.
A person is more than just a political ideology. Explore why you and your friend believe in different values, and you might gain a better understanding of your friend and the opposing viewpoint.
Frame the conversation.
Context is important. I tend to preface most of the things I say out of fear of misunderstanding. Some of my favorites include: “If you’re comfortable talking about this, can I ask …” or “I’m asking because I’m curious, not because I want to prove you wrong or criticize. Why did you …” I guess I feel it never hurts to let someone know where you’re coming from.
Be civil.
Not to sound prudish, but extreme language and profanity rarely facilitate productive dialogue. Though it may draw attention or attempt to convey passion, it can be off-putting. Be polite to others. Listen when it’s their turn to speak. Exercise common courtesy.
Channel your opinions appropriately.
Disagree with me on something? Write an opinion for The Times-Delphic. E-mail me. Chat with me. Don’t vandalize my property or talk behind my back. This gets us nowhere and cheats both of us out of having a meaningful conversation and learning from each other.
At this year’s Bucksbaum Lecture, President David Maxwell reminded us that universities are meant to be centers of learning and discourse. I think we can and should have conversations about politics, so long as we do so with a goal of learning from others and not attacking their beliefs.
As we move forward toward November, don’t hesitate to talk with your friends about your opinions, thoughts, and questions. You may even learn a thing or two.