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Return to thy roots with these cute shoots, ye brutes

“I am the vine, ye are the branches,” saith a little-known rabbi from Nazareth. Reconnect with the axis mundi, have the faith of a mustard seed and buy some nature, eh? Heed Mother Gaia’s hortatory. One writer suggests a sublunary show of ways your soul can grow: get a plant, bro. Photo by Meghan Holloran | Photo Editor

Houseplants are a fascinating hobby: beginners and pros love to watch new leaves unfurl and their plants grow all the same. However, some may have trouble getting into the hobby if they start with houseplants that are too far above their skill level, so here’s my list of beginner-friendly plants:

Literally any pothos:

Pothos are a beautiful plant that will tolerate almost any light. Some will thrive in medium to high light, but all of them will be okay with low light, which is why I think that they’re the perfect starter plants. With a once-weekly water requirement, this is a great plant to start your mini jungle with.

Snake plants/Bromeliads:

These plants are slow growers that will produce great foliage and need your attention only every once in a while for water. These plants over time will grow to be large and in charge, so in a few years when you look at your jungle, you can be proud of the progress your plant has made.

Spider plants:

*slaps pot* This bad boy can produce so many baby plants. Truly, this plant is the plant that keeps on giving. With a requirement of indirect light (such as through a window), this plant is perfect for new plant parents who want constant and interesting growth. Spider plants produce runners that will flower, and from the flowers they produce, smaller spider plant babies will grow. These plants produce replicas that can then be potted into their pot, shoved in a cup of water or even left alone to continue to grow on the plant.

Herbs:

There are a few ways you can grow herbs. If you get a grow kit or seeds from the store, you can plant your seeds in a container and watch them germinate and grow. If you’d like to experience the infinite food glitch, you can buy fresh herbs from the store and place the bottom of the stems in water. This will let the herbs root, and new growth should be soon to follow. This way of growing herbs also works with vegetables like lettuce, cabbage, garlic and more. It won’t grow to its former state, but it will grow a little more and most herbs will grow into a full plant.

A ZZ plant:

ZZ plants are exciting ones that produce and survive off of rhizomes, a horizontal underground plant stem capable of making new shoot and root systems. The thick and waxy leaves can be exciting for new plant parents because this plant will stick out in your mini jungle. The rhizomes store water for the plant to use, so you will only need to water this plant one to two times a month, or if you see that the plant is thirsty for more. 

Overall, cultivating your jungle as a plant parent is one of the many joys of the hobby. Some people look at it as art, others look at it as a collection of one genius or another and some just go wild grabbing whatever they can and styling it as they want to. Remember to research if you have an animal around, as some plants can be toxic to them if ingested.

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