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Commentary Relays Edition

Reach for the sky: the zodiac predicts relays ain’t gonna be dry

Relays Zodiac Graphic by Liv Klassen | Photo Editor

Aries ♈️: March 21 – April 19

My amazing Aries, I know you’ve been working hard to fulfill that self worth, so take a breather. You deserve to rest and treat yourself this week, however you need to. If that means going out, go out. If that means staying in, stay in. 

Taurus ♉️: April 20 – May 20

You have so much school work to do this week, and I get it, but hear me out…maybe go have some fun for once? I know your goal-oriented brain says to work on that lab report (I’m just assuming that you’re all STEM majors) but this is a week of celebration and relaxation! Go out, have some fun, walk around Greek street at 4 p.m. just for one day – you deserve it.

Gemini ♊️: May 21 – June 20

You, my precious little raviolis, are in for a treat this Relays week. Remember earlier this year when you were playin’ everyone because you “didn’t want to settle down?” I hope you’re pregaming the Peggy’s tent, because I see you running into at least two exes…be it friend or partner. Be wary of the tent this year, or if you go, at least pregame a whole lot. 

Cancer ♋️: June 21 – July 22

My emotional crustaceans, I foresee you having a lot of fun with these Relays! I have a strong feeling that you will be going to see the events. Maybe you should download a dating app just to see who’s in town – maybe you’ll end up with an Olympian. 

Leo ♌️: July 23 – August 22

Leos Leos Leos. This is a week about celebrating everyone, not just you. Make sure to check in with your friends to see how they’re doing this week. I see you having more fun at the sporting events than the bars.

Virgo ♍️: August 23 – September 22

Relax a little this week! We all know that you know better bars downtown that we could go to this week, and we don’t care. Let your friends explore out and about another time, they want to go to the tent, go to breakfast and be able to walk home, either go with them or don’t. 

Libra ♎️: September 23 – October 22

Normally, I’d tell you to get out there and have fun this year, but I’m advising you to stay in this Relays week…I see nothing but regret, Peggy’s tent smooches you aren’t happy about. You’ll find much more comfort in reading your textbook this week instead of going out…you have been warned.

Scorpio ♏️: October 23 – November 21

Scorpio, you have had Tinder downloaded and ready for about a week now, so go out and get those matches! Have fun being wild and free, but oddly enough, I foresee you finding true love on the Drake bus ride home from an event this week.

Sagittarius ♐️: November 22 – December 21

You have had it so rough lately, Sagittarius! Fortunately for you, I foresee luck in your Relays binge…you will run into a professor at the Peggy’s tent and get a higher grade out of it! If that doesn’t happen, it’s because you’re a December Sagittarius, but worry not, you will get plenty of free ~adult beverages~ this Relays week, just go to as many darties as you can.

Capricorn ♑️: December 22 – January 19

OKAY Capricornies, LAST year you didn’t go out because you complained about how expensive Peggy’s merchandise was, and then you spent all year complaining about how you didn’t have a cute sweatshirt. I’m not here for it. Go out, buy yourself a sweatshirt and be merry. 

Aquarius ♒️: January 20 – February 18

Okay okay, I know what the stereotypes say, but you really should go out and have fun. Do you really want to remember your Relays fun week being alone in your room? That’s what I thought. Put yourself out there, have fun, but not too much fun, I see you running into an old roommate you’ve been trying to avoid at West End. 

Pisces ♓️: February 19 – March 20

My wonderful Pisces, I see you’re not a fish out of water socializing at West End or the Peggy’s tent, it’s almost like you frequent these establishments. Maybe take this Relays to have your final hurrah with going out every Wednesday and weekend, so you can actually study for your finals, instead of studying how you can manipulate people.

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