“Infinity Pool”: schlocky horror, quite the snorer

On a cold and fateful night in January, the last Saturday of the month to be exact, my friend (and SJMC celebrity) Ethan Williams invited me and another friend to watch a movie at the new Varsity Cinema.

The theater was adorable. The vibes were immaculate…we had high hopes. We didn’t recognize any of the movies being shown because Varsity Cinema mostly shows independent films. We decided on a random film with a vague trailer and sat excitedly in the cushy seats.

Little did we know, we were about to watch the most f*cked up film our innocent eyes had ever been shown – “Infinity Pool.”.

Before you write me off as a wussy…might I remind you I’ve written at least two articles about my affinity for horror, gore, and fear. Typically, horror stuff  – scary movies, haunted houses, dating frat boys, etc. – is my jam.

Not in the case of “Infinity Pool.”

Without spoiling too much of the plot, this “movie” follows an American couple who are vacationing in an unspecified foreign country. The lead male is a crappy novelist looking for “inspiration.”

Early on in their trip, the main guy kills a local villager in a hit and run accident. When he is brought in by the police, he is told that the country has a law where anyone who kills another person (even accidentally) must be killed/avenged by a member of the deceased’s family (weird).

But never fear! This country has developed technology that allows them to clone people 100% perfectly… so instead of killing the lead, they clone him and make the REAL him watch his clone be murdered.

The point of the story is some commentary on the extreme immorality and overindulgence of the wealthy. 

The plot itself, although bland, wasn’t what made this movie bad. It was the high volume of tasteless sex and murder filler scenes that only padded the movie’s runtime and contributed nothing to the plot.

I mean, yes…in order to show the extremes to which wealthy people can be screwed up, you need some extreme scenes. But how many long creepy montages do you really need to get the point across? At what point is it just serving as uncomfortable movie filler?

At what point do these scenes just signal that the writers have some weird interests…? Especially when they contributed literally nothing to the overall plot, not even a little bit.

Even though indie films are usually made to be more “artistic,” I still think there’s a line that’s unnecessary to cross. I don’t know where that line is…but when everyone in the theater is collectively awkward-laughing during multiple points of the movie? I think it’s been crossed.

Quick clarification – the movie may have been gross, but the Varsity Cinema was a 10/10. Our mission to test out the new theater was a success, despite our poor movie choice. 

So the next time you’re bored on the weekends, I highly encourage a trip to Varsity Cinema! Maybe just do better movie research than we did.