by CELIA BROCKER
The english language has evolved so much that there are some words and phrases that are lost on our modern ears. It’s a shame, because there were some really great clapbacks way back then. If you’d like to impress your friends with knowledge, try out one of these long lost insults. Don’t let their old-fashioned nature scare you away – they still pack quite a punch.
Man of straw – Refers to a scarecrow, an imaginary man placed in a field to scare away birds. This insult describes a person who deceives you at first glance and is actually of little consequence.
Zounderkite – This applies to someone whose stupid conduct results in awkward mistakes. Like the three stooges, for example.
Rum-gagger – The term was used to describe a cheat who tells extravagant tales of sufferings in order to obtain money from sympathizers. The next time you hear one of your biddies telling a tall-tale you know isn’t true, try using this one.
Shooler – You know that one person who’s always showing up uninvited, taking advantage of your hospitality and forcing their company on you? They’re a shooler.
Gobslotch – This describes someone a greedy/clownish person. We all know one of those, don’t we?
Sinworm – A vile/sinful creature is described as a sinworm. The next time you’re confronted by a corrupt individual, now you’ll have something more creative to call them.
Pregnant scholar – Not quite the first image that popped into your head. This term describes a drunkard, someone who is drunk by the middle of the morning.
Windy-wallets – This basically means a noisy person, maybe someone who takes control of the conversation too many times. Like that one annoying relative you always try to avoid at family gatherings.
Guddler – A guddler means a greedy drinker, someone who likes drinking way too much. If you ever need to tell someone to back off the drinking for the night, you could try this. They probably won’t know what it means and may not even know they’re being called out.
Counter-caster – Basically, this is a contemptuous name for a mathematician, book-keeper or something similar.
Spatherdab – Ever known someone who was a horrible gossip? They used to be referred to as a spatherdab, or someone who went from house to house dispensing news.
Gump – This is used to call somebody foolish, a dolt, an idiot, take your pick. So that’s where the name Forrest Gump came from.
