STORY BY JACOB MCKAY
Why do we want what we can’t have? Why are we so fascinated with what is just out of our reach? These are the types of deep existential questions that you will be asking after your first fantasy football team finishes last in the league.
For those unaccustomed to the concept, fantasy football is an online contest in which you draft offensive players from any NFL team’s roster in order to assemble the most statistically proficient team possible.
Each player’s statistics are converted into fantasy points, and each teams fantasy points are tallied after the last game of each NFL Week.
You usually play head to head against somebody from your league, working your way towards the playoffs and a chance to win your league. I am no fantasy football expert but I have a few tips to successfully navigate your way through a season.
1. Your fantasy team is your new favorite team. Follow this team closer than the Bears or Packers if success actually matters to you. That is the best way to ensure success
2. Also, having an emotional attachment to certain fantasy players makes it even harder to take when they ultimately fail. Not to say that they will, but fantasy football is a game where the higher your hopes are, the farther they fall. Difficult cuts will have to be made, but it’s just a part of the game.
3. Learn from your peers. A fantasy football mentor is actually a highly profitable idea. Go to someone who has been there before, and let their knowledge carry you.
4. Never let anyone forget a loss. Fantasy Football is a game of smack talk. Psychology is part of winning. Make your opponents hate the sound of your voice. The chances of you regretting your decision to preemptively talk trash are high, but you need to take risks to feel alive.
5. Always study your free agent pool for the diamonds in the rough. There is probably reason behind the success of the eventual winner of your league. He probably watches those seemingly pointless Fantasy Football specials or maybe even reads a blog or two a week. He studies his craft. Be a student of the game.
7. Always remember that winning is everything. Losing in fantasy football can destroy your dignity for a full year. Do not take this lightly. Remember the thrill of victory, and worry about the agony of defeat after it happens. Early retirement due to lack of wins is not uncommon.
8. Always enjoy it. Never take this too seriously. Get outside and play real football. Or maybe not, you might need to take your mind off anything football related.