STORY BY JOE HERBA AND VICTORIA TRAMP
Joe:
The age old question. If “When Harry Met Sally” couldn’t answer it, I doubt I can, but I will try my best!
There are many different types of people who have friends of the opposite sex .
You will have those guys that are adamant against it, and these are the type of guys that get into friendships for the wrong reason: sex. They just try to get close to women to either get further with them in hopes of the aforementioned activity.
Then you have the other end of the spectrum, which are the guys that JUST become friends with girls. These guys just enjoy hanging out with girls; not for any other sexual reason, but rather because they find women easier to connect to. Yes, there are actually guys that do prefer a woman’s company just due to ease and connectability.
Then you have the rocky road: the guys that have best friends that are girls. The difficulty in this situation is that, as a society, we have been told that if you connect really well with someone of the opposite sex, then they must be your soulmate.
This does have some validity to it as tons of relationships stem from a long lasting friendship, but not every relationship works out, and that’s where this age-old question originates.
What happens if you have this friend — scratch that — best friend and you think about what it would be like if you were dating? This is a natural thought that nearly every person has if they do have a best friend of the opposite sex.
I know people that have — and haven’t — acted on these thoughts, and from what I have seen, those that acted did not have the best ending, but luckily everyone was unfazed.
But if you really think deep down, that you might have a chance with your best friend… It could work out, but be warned: You haven’t been the first to have that idea, and sometimes it doesn’t work out for the best.
Victoria:
Not every man and woman that casually hang out are dating. It is extremely possible they could be just friends, or perhaps even related. It’s also practical to be strictly friends with someone of the opposite gender, but even so, men and women walk a thin line of friendship. Biology, lust, nd compatibility are all factors in complicating the bond of friendship between sexes.
Friendship, in such circumstances may not come easily. Oftentimes, when getting to know someone, people connect on a deeper, more personal level, which is a really great thing. It’s awesome to have people to have really good, meaningful conversations with, but it can grow unstable. In many opposite -sex friendships, it is common for interest of a relationship to come from either, or both sides of the party. In relationships and friendships of any sort, there seems to be one party who is more invested, but it seems to happen significantly more in male-female friendships.
Not saying that there will always be one party that is, for lack of a better term, “whipped,” but there will be sexual tension exerted from at least one of the parties in any variety of strength or period of time.
This could mean that the two used to flirt. This could mean the two used to go on dates. This could even mean one of the two parties tried getting more involved in the relationship, but it wasn’t getting reciprocated from the second party. The sexual tension can switch back and forth between the two parties, or it can dissolve and the friendship may continue.
Point being, male-female relationships can be tricky, and most of them maintain or have previously had an interest from at least one of the parties. So while someone may be hanging out with the opposite sex, the two may not be dating; it is possible to be just friends.
A complication to this theory is guy code / girl code. The number one code I think of this: never go after a friend’s girl/boy (even if they are exes). These codes stand between friends of a man/woman and the people that that man / woman have dated. This means that the theory from above, about men and women being friends that are unequally interested in each other, most likely will not apply to these people unless they break girl code / guy code.
