STORY BY HUDSON WEBBER

A friend of mine recently texted me and said, in reference to the Drake Relays, that “There’s three to four other food races after that one.”
This is a rather odd statement to read as it pops up in your text conversation.
The important part, of course, is that he said “food races” instead of “good races.”
This incorrect word was obviously thanks to Autocorrect, the automated service we all know and love.
I chuckled, then asked if he was hungry, which, as it turned out, he was.
Did his phone know what he really wanted to say? Was this a technological Freudian slip? Is that even a thing?
Everyone has an opinion on the great Sigmund Freud and his ideas.
Most of these opinions are negative, but Freud was right about some things.
The 19th century psychologist had some weird notions (like the idea that every boy at one time wanted to kill his father and marry his mother), but he was right about the importance of the subconscious.
We think and do many things without realizing what we’re doing.
Freud believed that slips of the tongue and what we saw in our dreams showed many of our deepest desires.
This is only true to an extent. But where does Autocorrect come in?
We use our phones all day, every day. As we’ve all experienced, Autocorrect flubs happen regularly.
We usually chuckle, then make use of our manual correct.
In Freud’s dream interpretation, if someone dreamed about a baby, then it might point towards a desire to produce offspring.
Interpretation of texting fails would be no different.
Think about it. They’re called smart phones for a reason.
Maybe they know what we want without us even knowing what we want.
When my friend talked about “food races,” he meant, without realizing it, that he was hungry.
Maybe when you were Autocorrected to say that your mechanic is a midget, instead of amazing, you actually think he’s oddly short.
Perhaps when you say you’re “going to sell your father’s organs,” instead of what you actually meant to say, which was “going to sell your father’s organ,” it’s possible that you actually have a seriously unresolved Oedipus complex.
Maybe you were trying to tell your friend that you want to kill your father.
OK, maybe not actually that last one.
As we type, our phones are programmed to learn our favorite words and phrases.
Maybe they’re also reading into our words, and seeing a lot more than we are.
My only recommendation is simply to beware neck time you text.
Yes, that was misspelled on purpose. Don’t use Autocorrect.