STORY BY GIULIANA LAMANTIA
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but chains and whips excite me.”
Rihanna may have been on to something with her 2011 hit S&M, as erotica (more specifically in the form of E.L. James’ “Fifty Shades of Grey”) has all the talk surrounding it, especially with the release of the movie this last weekend.
While many women have waited patiently to see the story come to life, much controversy has swirled around it through numerous articles and on social media.
The dominant-submissive quality of Christian Grey and Ana Steele’s relationship leads people to believe the book and movie promote abusive relationships.
One aspect that feeds that belief is Grey’s dark past of being abused. On the contrary, everything that happens is his relationships is completely consensual. It is due to this fact that many readers and viewers do not see Grey and Steele’s relationship as an abusive one.
“(Grey) was abused for six years, so that’s the only thing he knows, but he does not take on women forcefully,” first-year Jelena Spasic said. “He makes them sign a contract, and it details what will happen and what their limits are as a woman. If you accept to be submissive to his dominance you accept that and then it just moves forward. The woman wants that to happen.”
Relationship expert Dana Corey, founder of Modern Relationship Expert, understands the discretion audiences may feel for the book and movie because of the manipulation and disrespect Grey shows towards Steele throughout the story. However, she feels it is not an accurate depiction of how these types of relationships are in real life.
“It’s not a realistic portrayal of what a dominant-submissive relationship is all about,” Corey said. “It’s described in a titillating way, but it’s not the truth. For people who engage in domination and submission, it’s a lot more respectful than this portrays.”
That being said, Corey believes the intent of “Fifty Shades of Grey” is not to encourage these kinds of relationships, but rather to feed a fantasy.
“I think everybody has fantasies,” Corey said. “That doesn’t mean that’s what they necessarily want in their sex lives. I think many women fantasize about having a strong man and being submissive, but for most women it’s a fantasy, and the story definitely plays into that fantasy for a lot of women who would never have that kind of relationship in real life. But the fantasy is really healthy.”
Another part that has really drawn in fans is the love story. Sophomore Emily Bagg, a fan of the book, thinks that behind the fantasy, James intended to have that aspect stand out.
“I think it’s beautiful, but it’s also sexy,” Bagg said. “I think that’s what (the author) wants it to be, she doesn’t want it to be this whole controversy of, oh he’s manipulating and hurting her.”
Even with a debate on what the book and movie promote, Corey feels its release has started an important conversation among society that was more hush-hush not so long ago.
“I think that the whole topic of domination and submission and bondage and that kind of sex on the edges is something that most people just don’t talk about,” Corey said.
“I think (Fifty Shades) brought the topic of sex, all sex, out of the corners, out of the dark, out of the taboo into happy hour or friend conversation. It’s kind of more accessible.”
