STORY BY CLARE VANECHAUTE
My name’s Clare. How YOU doin’?
Ladies and gentlemen, for those of you who are unaware — which I hope is very few of you — “Friends” is coming to Netflix.
Netflix has become a staple in the lives of countless Americans, but no one feels the ever-lasting, you-jump-I-jump, committed, emotional connection to Netflix better than the procrasti-talented college student.
Before Yik Yak stopped being cool and started breeding hate, the most over-posted Yak was always something along the lines of, “What should I do today? Homework or Netflix? Netflix it is!” or “Oh Netflix, nobody understands me the way that you do.” Unless we are assuming that this was just one die-hard Netflix fanatic who Yakked daily and without cessation, I think it is safe to say that the Netflix epidemic is the most increasingly prevalent disease on campus.
But now “Friends” is coming out. If Netflix was hard to resist before, it is going to soon become a black hole of classic ‘90s sitcom glory.
“Friends” is definitely one of the most popular TV shows of all time. Personally, I missed the whole “Friends” bandwagon. In the 90s, I was one, only alive for five years of that particular decade, two, just way too into “Sleeping Beauty” on VHS and three, subject to my parents, who had particular ideas when it came to what the kids could watch in pop culture for a long time.
So, apart from knowing that Jennifer Aniston was in it and of course Joey’s classic line “How YOU doin’?” I still — to this day — know nothing about this show, other than the fact that it is a heinous crime that “Friends” is not in my life. Oh, and that according to a BuzzFeed quiz, I am Rachel.
However, this is a crime I have tried to rectify countless times. I’ve sought after a few friends who own “Friends” on DVD, but my laptop doesn’t have a CD/DVD slot. I’ve tried using the World Wide Web, but Drake Wi-Fi is much too advanced for speedy downloads and limited buffering, as we all are painfully aware.
So how do I live with myself? Well, I watch Netflix to drown my uninformed, “Friends”-less sorrow of course, like any blue-blooded American with Internet connection and an income rate steady enough to support the addiction. I am super excited to fill my January with this classic show.
My current go-to TV shows are “Grey’s Anatomy,” “Breaking Bad” and of course, the newly-implemented “Gilmore Girls.” Can I just say that if you don’t believe in God, the addition of Gilmore Girls to Netflix really proves there is one and that He has good taste in TV. You can also find me in the classic movies section, with movies in my cue like “The Graduate,” “The Good the Bad and the Ugly,” “Some Like It Hot” and “Rosemary’s Baby.”
As satisfied as I am with my Netflix, there are several absences that need to be rectified. My list would include the director’s cut of the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy, because I need more Hobbits in my life. All the “Star Wars” movies, specifically the first three — aka the oldest three in case you’re not a fan, because let’s face it, the newest three were not very good except for maybe the “Phantom Menace.” “The Godfather,” because Marlon Brando and, also, because it taught me valuable life lessons such as my days of the week: “Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Wednesday” and that when you are faced with the choice of food or violence, you should always leave the gun and take the cannoli.
That’s the solution to world peace right there. A nice cannoli and Netflix.
