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Relays Edition

Interview with Porterhouse

Photo by Taylor Soule, photo editor

The Times-Delphic had the chance to sit down with Drake’s official live mascot, Porterhouse. Accompanied by his entourage, owners Erin and Kevin Bell, Porterhouse let the TD in on his idea of a dream vacation, why he loves speedboats and the first question he would ask if he had a sexy, Australian accent.

The Times-Delphic: If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?

Porterhouse: To my food dish first and foremost, and then maybe Hubbell Dining Hall. That’s definitely a location I love.

TD: Where would you like to take a vacation?

PH: Every day is like a vacation for me. I enjoy lounging around. Erin and Kevin say I’m lazy, but I would prefer to describe myself as a dog who’s just taking it all in and loving life. If I could go anywhere for a dream vacation, I would go wherever they make dog food.

TD: What is your favorite way to travel?

PH: Traveling by car is by far my favorite way to travel. Long distance car rides are wonderful. I lie down and fall asleep for the whole trip. It’s really relaxing to be chauffeured around. I take up the whole backseat. In fact, everything in the backseat is mine. But I occasionally sit in the passenger’s seat, and when I do, I fall asleep right on the driver’s arm. It’s incredibly comfortable. I do love boats, as well. Preferably speedboats because I enjoy the wind in my ears, so I can toss them back and just let the wind fly by.

TD: Are you good with directions?

PH: Oh yes, I know where I’m going. I always remember who gives me food. Trust me, I can find that person faster than Lolo Jones can go over a hurdle. It’s a pretty amazing talent.

TD: If you could speak any language — besides fluent bulldog, of course — what language would you speak?

PH: Well, since I am an English bulldog, I would definitely speak perfect English. That way I could better communicate with my owners and tell them exactly what type of treat I would like. I would speak all kinds of English, whether it’s speaking properly like the Queen of England or with a sexy, Australian accent. Honestly, though, I would like to speak any language as long as I could say the word, “food.” Yes, learning the phrase “Where’s the food dish?” would be my main priority.

TD: You seem to make friends wherever you go. What is it about meeting new people that you like the most?

PH: I’ll admit, I love being the center of attention. I love to be loved. I especially adore the Drake students because I know that college kids are likely to drop some food my way, which Erin and Kevin don’t always do. And I immediately care about new people. I am willing to be their best friend and give them a big, slobbery kiss, even if I just met them. I get bored of Erin and Kevin, but I’m fond of Drake students because they give me endless attention. They all treat me like royalty. Which, in a way, I guess I am.

TD: That’s very true. As the “King of Drake,” if you could switch places with any other king for the day, who would it be?

PH: If I could be crowned the king of anything else, it would be the King of the Couch. In fact, that’s what I usually am at home already.

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