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Jane Hoe: Facebook official

Hoe is the TD’s anonymous sex columnist. She is a student at Drake and can be reached at janehoe.drake@gmail.com

Hey Jane!

So, I’ve been dating this girl for a month now, and I’d really like to make it Facebook official, but she says we don’t need to be…Is this something I should worry about? Does this mean that our relationship is on the rocks? I just don’t even know what to do at this point….

-Officially Confused.

Well, Officially Confused, that’s a doozie of a question. Becoming Facebook Official (FBO) is a big step in any relationship. It sets the tone for how you want to have your relationship viewed in the public sphere. The thought of going FBO freaks a lot of people out. Once it’s on Facebook, it’s going to be there for a while. Even if you edit your Timeline (or profile if you haven’t made the switch yet), it’s still going to be there for all of your friends to see.

Starting a relationship is stressful enough. How would adding the stress of being FBO make it any better? Being FBO is a big step one can take. Really, though, it’s not that big of a deal in the long run, but it’s also a personal decision.

You have to take into account how long you’ve been dating this person. While a month is commendable, it still might be a little too early to make it FBO. The main reason why people make it FBO is to let the world know that they’re in a relationship. But there are things to consider before going FBO:

1. Have you told your friends yet?

Don’t be that person. You know that person — The one that changes his or her status out of the blue and your friends say, “Man, I didn’t even see that coming.” Yeah, you know why they didn’t see it coming, because you decided not to tell them. Be open with your friends and avoid those fights. No relationship is worth fighting with your best friends.

2. Are you friends with a majority of your ex’s on Facebook?

This is actually a reason you should be FBO. Show them that you moved on – nothing like proclaiming it from the heights of Facebook.

3. Confirm that you’re actually in a relationship with said person…

Again, duh. Don’t just assume. Don’t be that idiot. It’ll save you a lot of time and a hurt ego.

4. Do you both want to make it FBO?

Your partner might not actually want to be FBO for reasons. Trying to keep some sort of your life private can be a good thing.  A little mystery never hurt anyone.

Personally, I see nothing wrong with keeping your relationship off of Facebook. Usually, if you’re dating someone, it’s pretty obvious to most people (annoying couple photos are always a good tip off). If you and your significant other decide to make it FBO, be sure that you’re on the same page and are ready for the intense amount of likes and comments to be on your page.

If your girlfriend still decides that she doesn’t want to be FBO, don’t push the subject. It’s not worth it. Just keep it on the down low for a bit and then go from there. Keep your head up. Eventually, everything will be figured out, or you’ll break up. At least that won’t be plastered all over your Facebook.

Small wins my brother, small wins.


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