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Jane Hoe: Learning to feel the love

Hoe is the TD’s anonymous sex columnist. She is a student at Drake and can be reached at janehoe.drake@gmail.com


There, I said it. And I’ve done it.

Masturbation is normal. Don’t even deny it.

At some point in time, you’re going to want to touch yourself, and damn it, you probably should.

There is a time and place to pleasure yourself. Having your roommate in the room when you do it is probably not the best way to go about it.

Setting the mood for your own pleasure can increase your chances of climax, and plus, who doesn’t like putting on the glitz for no reason? Maybe you like to masturbate in private. Then find a space that you feel comfortable in, and get the motion going. If you’re more of an adventurer and want to risk public masturbation — go for it (but I must say that I do not suggest it. You can get in serious trouble for that.)

What I’m trying to get at is that masturbating isn’t shameful. This isn’t a question of right or wrong, because really, what’s wrong with a little bit of self-lovin’? Nothing. You know what’s right for you, and damn it, you should do what’s right for you.

Anyway, let’s get back on topic. Masturbation isn’t anything dirty (unless you let it get that way). In fact, it’s totally human to want to self-serve. We have self-checkout lanes in grocery stores, self-serve fro-yo shops and, of course, we pump our own gas. So obviously, we should be able to masturbate in the privacy of our rooms.

According to the Kinsey Institute for sex research, 61.1 percent of males between the ages of 18-19 have masturbated alone within the past month. That means a lot of tissues are being used in the first-year dorms.

The percentage of males that say they have masturbated alone goes up slightly to 62.8 percent for males between the ages of 20-24. I could say that I expect more from my male counterparts, but honestly, we’re all a bit busy, so I’ll give you some slack because I know how hard it can be to make time for yourself.

Ladies, though, I’m disappointed. According to the same data from the Kinsey Institute, only 26 percent of women between the ages of 18-19 have masturbated alone in the past month. Now, I know all you single ladies are dreaming of some sexy, man-meat a la Noah in “The Notebook,” so why aren’t you letting that dream come semi-true? It seems like a lot of work, but I’ll tell you one thing: it’s worth it.

If you’re one of the lucky few men or women on campus who have significant others, why not spice up your self-love life by sharing it with your partner.

Sometimes, that can be the best education your non-tuition dollars can buy. Learning how to pleasure your partner the way he or she likes it will not only turn them on, but it’s sure to make sparks fly for you.

There are such things as vibrators, and they make things go so much faster. I mean, go down to your local sex shop (might I suggest Romantix) and find the model that’s right for you. They come in a range of prices and sizes (some are outrageous; seriously, I would never want some of those in my body…ever).

What you think about during masturbation is another story. Does it really matter? No. So what if you’re thinking about that certain professor in your 8 a.m. class or that hunk that sits next to you. It’s all about what you want, and not what society tells you to think about. But, if you’re thinking about your mother, you might have a problem…and it’s called an Oedipus complex, so maybe shy away, or go talk about your feelings instead of feeling yourself.

So, Bulldogs, light some candles, put on some silk sheets and share the love.

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