Bosco is a senior English and secondary education double major and can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org.
It’s that time of year again when we take out the Wheaties, hit the Olmsted weight room and no longer give top priority to pharmacy tests. That’s right. It’s time for the intramurals basketball playoffs. Our officials have been training in one of the most aggressive intramurals environments I have seen in years, and our scorekeepers have been practicing the perfect script when turning down players without a Drake ID. They are prepared, you are ready and the highly anticipated, traditionally flawed predictions have been made. So here you go, the potential winners, almost winners and upset candidates of the 2012 intramurals basketball playoffs.
Winners: The Firm — The originals are back and ready to attack, as the team has left nothing to mystery by using its original name. This league has been shortchanged a bit by the Super Bowl and has to make up a few matches this Sunday the week before the playoffs. I’m just not willing to place any bets against the law.
Almost Winners: Premature Shooters — This squad is The Firm’s biggest challenge. If the two meet in the playoffs, this will be a game to watch. Let’s just hope they don’t leave before the game ends.
Potential Upset Candidate: Fightin’ Paul Morrisons
Winners: SigEp — Someone developed the idea that the fraternities need their own league, so their tournament will be separate from the rest. I seem to be constantly repeating myself in this column, but SigEp is the best reflection of a high school varsity team we have, and I think at least half of the team shows up for morning practice.
Almost Winners: PIKE — They are strong, intimidating and can often be seen warming up far before a game begins, which means they have given themselves at least one hour since eating Hubbell — many teams’ major weakness.
Potential Upset Candidate — FIJI
Winners: Sioux Falls Goofballs — This league is one of the most difficult in my opinion. It has over 25 teams. This squad found themselves just short of the ultimate victory last year, but has actually used a clever strategy in changing their name each season. Their undefeated record may be representative of other teams’ inadequate attitude when preparing to take on a goof ball from Sioux Falls.
Almost Winners: Big Chiefs — I am basing most of this decision on the star power of the team. I see some intramurals veterans on the squad and a few rookies. Another undefeated record will give plenty of teams trouble come playoffs.
Potential Upset Candidate: Does Duff count?
Winners: Delta Gamma — This team will see some competition in the other viable championship contenders, but intramurals sees some very consistent athletics in DG. Their point differential between wins and losses is nearly double of the team in the second slot, and a championship may lead them closer to winning that cup thing.
Almost Winners: KOBE — This squad consists of several girls from our school’s soccer team. They are some of the few who remain moderately in shape for four years and restore my faith that most soccer players can also play basketball.
Potential Upset Candidate: Pink Fluffy Bunnies
Winners: Phi Delta Chi — This league has a solid four teams, and Phi Delta Chi has beaten all three opponents. Statistics show one obvious champion, but we have seen stranger things in the intramurals program.
Almost Winners: Basketmallerz — We can assume the team is originated from Kappa Kappa Gamma, and We Play Soccer is thankful for not being the only non-affiliated team name in the league. These girls typically come with a full bench, but if too many forget to sign up online, the tides may change.
Potential Upset candidates: We Play Soccer. They are looking for any win other than a forfeit.
The intramurals program is looking forward to all competition in the coming weeks. Remember, the bigger the headphones you wear in warm-ups, the more likely you are to win. Stay tuned for games to watch in the next issue.
Until next time, please play by the rules.