The Dumper
Although it may seem like the easier position of the two, no one likes hurting people (at least if you’re a good person you don’t).
I recently read an article on collegecandy.com about the etiquette of breaking up. Miss Manners offered these tips:
- Break up face to face
- Avoid using clichés
- Don’t say, “I love you” unless you actually mean it
- Don’t hook up/get caught with another guy too soon
Her overall rule, though, and the most important: Be respectful.
No matter what this guy has done to you, leave with the upper hand. Be the classy mature woman you would want to be remembered as.
My own tip for breaking up is to wait out your decision for a bit. In the days following a breakup, you may desperately miss that person. After being with them for so long, you may come to realize how much time you spent with them and may no longer know how to fill it. And in today’s world, grabbing your cell phone, or communicating via Facebook with your ex is all too easy…don’t! While you may miss them for now, wait at least two weeks before taking any action. That way you can decide if you really miss them as a person, or if you just miss companionship in general.
The Dumpee
My hard and fast rule for breaking up: You get two days to wallow, two weeks to be sad, and then go on with your life as usual. If he broke up with you, he obviously couldn’t see all the wonderful things you had to offer, or perhaps you just weren’t compatible. Move on!
Romanceforeveryone.com gives its tips on moving on:
- Figure out who is in your support network
- Remove reminders of the relationship
- Minimize contact with your ex
- Don’t start dating immediately
- Hang out with your single friends
My No. 1 pet peeve about people who have just broken up is reading all about it on Facebook or Twitter. Don’t feel the need to update everyone on your friends list about your feelings via status updates!
No matter what, remember things happen for a reason. Dating is all trial and error, and eventually, things will work out for the best.
Read more at http://www.thenonstoplife.blogspot.com
Mason is a sophomore magazine and public relations major and can be contacted at helen.mason@drake.edu.
