(515) Texted last night

Photo: Connor McCourtney

Horsch is a first-year news/Internet major and can be contacted at lauren.horsch@drake.edu

We’ve all been there–sending that one message that you shouldn’t. You were under the influence of whatever, and the next morning you regret it (or maybe you don’t). Let’s be real here for a moment: Sometimes, those great ideas late at night after going out aren’t that great. That text you sent to an ex-fling sounded great in your head, but when you read it the next morning, well, let’s just say it wasn’t even in English.

Thanks to the popular website Texts From Last Night, a lot of the mistakes we’ve made over texts have been blasted to the World Wide Web. And I’m sure many of you reading this can identify with at least one (or 10) of those texts from last night. They really, truly can describe some of the things that happen to my cohorts. I’m gonna break a few of these down, and just reminisce about the bad decision I, or my friends, have made on occasion.

(613): I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Well, someone had a Ke$ha-esque night. You’ve seen those girls, they’re the ones in all of the organizations and look all sweet and innocent, and then you see them out. They’re dancing on the tables, they’re wearing the outfits that you would kill for, and well, they’re gonna hurt in the morning when they have to wake up to go to work. There is nothing wrong with a little bit of going out on a night when you have to wake up early in the morning, but let’s be honest for a second –keep it in check. If you have to be up for something important, maybe you shouldn’t go out, or if you do, don’t take those five shots of tequila like your friends are suggesting you do. Sure, the feeling can be great, but do you really want to discuss hard topics in the morning when you’re a little “under the weather?” Probably not.

(518): Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
This is a classic example of the “What the hell?” text. It only makes sense under extreme circumstances, and usually, those circumstances only happen once. When you wake up in the morning and realize what you’ve done, you feel a slight pain in your stomach. Even if you can reconstruct your night piece by piece, it still doesn’t seem to make sense. What’s done is done. I mean it could have been worse…

(781): I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Well, well, look what we have here. This sounds like someone had an exceptionally good night. There are moments when what seems right to say to a friend, just doesn’t make sense, even if it is in a language familiar to most. The feelings that you need to share are great, because well, you’ll probably never feel the same way again. Whether or not you can feel your pores breathing or that your head is in fact a kite flying over England, you probably send that particular text. But hey, at that point, everything seems glorious.

(402): He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants….id like to know too
This is mildly self-explanatory. You and your significant other were a little tipsy and things happened–magical, out-of-this-world things. And by that I mean you really have no clue how anything like that could have happened. Upon further examination, you can realize that you just simply had an out-of-body experience and temporarily became superhuman. Liquid magic can do that to yoU.

(716): he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates.
This is quite possibly my favorite of all of the examples. We’ve all been there, or know someone who has at least. She’s tried to get with the roommate of her good friend, but the good friend stops her. She is angry, and rightly so, but she’ll wake up the next morning and be thankful for the minor intervention. But during the act, all she wanted was to get into his lofted bed, so she was resentful. Been there, tried that, got over it. It’s for the best ladies and gentlemen.

So, there are those certain texts that make you cringe the next morning. I’ve sent and received my fair share of them. It’s a forgivable, hilarious event. Sure, you’ll feel bad the next day for what you said, but you’ll always be able to look back and laugh at what you said. I know I have. Really though, it could be way worse. Here’s to another weekend filled with texts